February has three “official” holidays. Valentine’s Day is the biggie; it steals all the media attention and Hallmark card revenue for the month. It is the holiday the drug stores get all fapitzed for. As soon as the Christmas gift wrap is put on sale, out come the chocolate hearts, “World’s Best Teacher” mugs, and Scooby Doo Valentine’s.
February 2 is Groundhog Day, but unless you are anxiously awaiting Punxsutawney Phil’s prognostication, you might miss this bizarre mix of self-important men in top hats clutching the furry guest of honor and college students using any excuse for a party. (Good news: He predicted an early spring.)
Lincoln is also responsible for is National Freedom Day (Feb. 1), marking his signing of the Thirteenth Amendment that outlawed slavery in 1865. In 1948, President Harry Truman made it an official holiday. This sounds like such an important day – and it was – but why didn’t this holiday stick? All holidays were invented by someone, but why do some gain popularity while others fade away?
We found a bunch of lesser-known holidays that flourish on obscure Facebook pages with 7 “likes.” Feb. 5 is National Weatherman’s Day, commemorating the birth of John Jeffries, considered to be one of America’s first weathermen. He kept weather records from 1774 to 1816. Today’s meteorologists are predicting Feb. 5 to be clear and sunny. We won’t be surprised if it’s overcast and snowy.
Feb. 7 is Send a Card to a Friend Day. Obviously, this day was created by a card company that should hire a better advertising company. We’ll just send a text message. We’re saving our $4.95 to buy a card for our hubbies on Valentine’s Day.
Feb. 15, the day after Valentine’s Day, is Singles Awareness Day, founded by Dustin Barnes, who at the time was a girlfriend-less student at Mississippi State University. That’s cold, Dustin, reminding us that we spent yesterday all alone – no candy, no cards, nothing. We don’t need your stupid holiday.
On a nicer note, there are days when we are supposed to be nice: Do A Grouch a Favor Day (Feb. 16), Random Acts of Kindness Day (Feb. 17) and Walking the Dog Day (Feb. 22). We believe you should do all of these things more than once a month, especially the last one. The dog can’t hold it in till next February.
We have three weeks to save up all our thoughts for International World Thinking Day on Feb. 22. So we are busy pondering world peace and how to solve global warming. Thank goodness No Brainer Day is Feb. 27. We were starting to get a headache with all that heavy thinking. On Feb. 27, you are supposed to do anything that’s easy, obvious and logical. If a task requires thinking or studying, you should put it off. That’s a holiday we can get behind.
Then we read that International World Thinking Day wasn’t even about us. Girl Scouts created it in 1926 as a day to give thanks and appreciate each other. They should stick to what they do best: Samoas and Thin Mints. Happily, Feb. 8 is National Girl Scout Cookie Day. Pass the box this way.
February has holidays for more than cookies. You could eat your way through the month: Plum Pudding (12th), Gum Drops (15th), Chocolate Mints (19th), Cherry Pie (20th), Tortilla Chips (24th) and Pistachios (26th). Apparently, edamame and cauliflower cannot afford lobbyists to promote their interests.